Now that we know the main symptoms of low self-esteem it is time to analyze what healthy self-esteem looks like.
We can sometimes confuse high self-esteem with arrogance and pride. But healthy self-esteem doesn’t put us above others, like pride and arrogance do. It only allows us to take good care of ourselves in a healthy way.
Healthy self-esteem results in a healthy mind. That means the mind produces positive thoughts and uses kind words when addressing self. The internal dialogue is free of name-calling, criticizing and self-punishment. Instead, it is forgiving and understanding.
Not only this mind is kind towards self, but it is also kind towards others. It is free of bitter comparisons and jealousy, because it doesn’t see someone’s virtues as a threat to its own worth.
One of the main beliefs of a healthy self-esteem is that we deserve good things in life and that we are able to receive them. This positive belief tells us that we are allowed to buy the beautiful dress that we want, that we are capable of achieving our career goals and that the happy marriage is indeed possible for us. It also makes us love taking care of ourselves – our bodies, surroundings, state of mind, emotions.
Unlike low self-esteem, healthy one doesn’t glorify self sacrifice in daily life and relationships. Instead, it encourages us to appreciate and enjoy the good things that we’ve been given, however small they may be. In fact, it will even avoid making useless daily sacrifices, believing that we deserve joy, love and easiness in our lives.
Healthy self-esteem triggers us to protect ourselves from any kind of negativity, abuse or disrespect. It doesn’t accept any kind of bad treatment, doesn’t believe in excuses to tolerate it and doesn’t question our worthiness based on it. It makes us know that we always deserve to be treated well.
Even in minor situations our healthy self-esteem will take care of our interests. It will not compromise on something important just for the sake of pleasing others and fitting in.
To summarize, a woman with a healthy self-esteem takes good care of herself, surrounds herself by people who support her and cuts out people who make her doubt herself.
She does not sacrifice her comfort or values for pleasing others to be a “good girl” in their eyes.
She is busy building her life to her own liking and has no time or interest to judge and criticize others.
She is grateful for what she already has and knows how to enjoy all the good things that she receives.
As a result, the world gives this woman what she asks for and she loves her life.