Being able to connect with others, find love, support and understanding is no doubts one of the best parts of our lives. But when we find ourselves in the relationships that are crippling and painful, it can make us feel like failures. And when shame and feeling of inadequacy add on top of your bitter disappointment and unhappiness in the relationship, it is easy to find yourself in a very dark place.
A much more healthier way to look at this would be to recognize the valuable lessons in this experience. After all, we are being transformed through relationships and difficult relationships have the most transforming power.
We need to let go of a belief that only happy relationships are valuable, and to accept that it is essential for us to experience different kind of relationships, because it is usually the challenging ones that teach and empower us to grow.
If you have been in a difficult relationship recently, here are the four benefits of this experience that you should consider:
It teaches you more about love and acceptance
Turbulent relationships can show you the depth of your feelings and prove you that love really has no boundaries, that it is possible to love someone completely different from you and even someone who causes you pain.
You can learn that you are capable of loving someone even when your relationship doesn’t work out and when you know you can’t be together. After an experience like that you will never take relationships for granted.
It makes you stronger and wiser
Harmonious relationships can be blissful, but challenging ones can bring out many new strengths and qualities you didn’t know existed in you, making you learn more about yourself.
Nobody wishes to be a in a difficult relationship, but many look back on it later and realize that this struggle has created a foundation on which they managed to build a much better relationship afterwards.
It shows you your true values
Conflicts and challenges make you focus and be present in the moment. You become aware and conscious of the things that are important to you and worth fighting for, versus things that you can compromise on.
By bringing these issues to the surface, a difficult relationship teaches you the fine art of finding balance between compromising and setting healthy boundaries with your partner.
It helps you understand happiness
One of the most powerful realizations that you can get from going through a challenging relationship is that you can still be alright, when this area of life is falling apart.
It doesn’t minimize the importance of personal relationships in your life, but it just makes you see that deep in your core you are fine no matter what, that your happiness is not fully dependent on the outside circumstances.