When we think about potential relationships, we tend to think more about our partner. We imagine how he will look like, what qualities he’s going to have and how he will treat us. But it is equally important to think who we are as a partner and what we can bring to the relationship.
Women with damaged self-esteem tend to dream that one day they will meet a man who will love them more, than they love themselves. In reality this never happens, because your level of self-love will greatly influence what kind of a partner you will be, and hence what kind of a man you will match and how happy your relationship will become.
Here is how a healthy self-esteem can help you get and maintain a healthy relationship.
You will attract better men
Like attracts like, and women who don’t love themselves enough will only match men, who don’t love them enough either. This explains stories of girls, who get into the same kind of problematic relationship again and again, always finding the same type of partner.
A woman with high self-esteem will automatically avoid potential candidates, who can bring more trouble than happiness in her life. Most likely, these kind of men will never even come up to a confident woman, because they know that she will not tolerate their bad habits and abuse.
You will set healthy boundaries in the relationship
One great quality that follows from healthy self-esteem is knowing what is acceptable and not acceptable for you.
Relationships are always testing our limits. By having a clear idea of what you can and can not tolerate, it becomes very easy to set healthy boundaries in the relationships, to maintain mutual respect and comfort.
You will be able to love
Psychologists say that we can’t love anyone else, until we learn to love ourselves. By nature it is easier for us to forgive our own mistakes and accept our own weaknesses.
If we can do that for ourselves, we are then able to offer this kindness to others and hence it is possible for us to accept flaws of other people and love them fully for who they are.
You will allow your partner to grow
Relationships are not about becoming twins or clinging to each other. It is a partnership, but every partner needs to have their own space for personal development. Woman with lower self-esteem always fear to give that space to their men, because they see this relationship as the main source of happiness and self-validation.
Once the self-esteem becomes healthy, a woman can give her partner more “air to breathe”, which keeps relationship afloat and promotes its’ development further.
You will keep growing yourself
When you love yourself enough, you can focus on your own development in your free time. You don’t get scared that your partner will do something behind your back, or that he will forget about your existence while you are having your personal time. You don’t need to control your partner’s attention.
This way you can peacefully allow yourself to keep growing as a person and stay interesting in the relationship.
If you think that your self-esteem could be better, check out my post about 5 Essential Rules for a Healthy Self Esteem. It will help you to start moving in the right direction.