Healthy self esteem is absolutely essential for our happiness, but can be so difficult to develop and maintain. I read many life stories, comments and blogs online and keep noticing one common thing. No matter how brilliant, successful or brave a woman is, at some point she’s battling with low self esteem.
From the outside it is often easy to see that women feel bad about themselves for absolutely no reason! But it is difficult to realize, when you are in the situation yourself. The following 5 rules I share below can help any woman struggling to love herself, to develop healthy self esteem and start feeling good about her life.
1. Don’t compare yourself to others.
This is the most important thing! You have to realize that it is completely useless to torture yourself thinking that you are not as good/thin/lucky/successful/smart/beautiful as someone else. You can’t compare two absolutely different people, because each had different experiences, circumstances, lessons and problems. The only person you can compare yourself to is yourself yesterday!
If you have been overweight all your life and lost a few kilos in the past few weeks – that’s an important progress and a valid reason to compare yourself now with yourself a few weeks ago. And it doesn’t matter that Mary next door has always been thin. She didn’t have the progress that you made and she is fighting her own battles.
2. Learn from others.
If there is a person with a certain trait/look/style/manner that you adore but lack yourself – why not learn it from them? Turn your jealousy into inspiration! Feeling jealous of something signifies that you want the same thing or result. Instead of torturing yourself with envy, put your energy to finding ways to learn how to get the same result! This way you will stop being jealous and will learn something useful, which will boost your confidence.
3. Draw a line between you and others.
Sometimes we meet people who are rude and abusive. They may say something hurtful, or laugh at us. It happens to everyone. And in cases like this it is good to remember one thing – that person is being offensive not because there is something wrong with you, but because there is something wrong with them. Happy people are never like that. So, if someone is trying to bring you down, it shows how miserable they are, and has absolutely nothing to do with you.
4. Keep track
Life consists of a lot of small moments and the progress we make can be slow. So it’s a good practice to keep a diary, where you note all the small but beautiful things that happen to you. They seem insignificant for one day, but when you flip through your diary at the end of the month, or even year, you can see your journey. You can clearly see how all the small steps, all the small changes that you’ve made led to a more significant result. You will be surprised to see how much you have actually done and will feel more confident in going forward.
5.Support yourself no matter what
What many women forget is that we need to be our own best friend at all times. It means if you fail at something, instead of cursing and thinking badly of yourself, you need to tell yourself “I love you anyway”. It means that you don’t need to wait until you achieve some goal or have a great breakthrough to treat yourself nicely. You deserve all the amazing things of the world all the time, no matter your achievements or failures. So start complimenting and treating yourself nicely today!
Of course, battle for a healthy self esteem is complicated, but these 5 rules will be a good start, if you firmly decide that it is time to work on it.